Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Yes, Again

I hate saying this, but frankly? I am about ready to quit writing.

Except for the very rare bright spot, my life for the last year and a half has been pretty depressing. Lost a job at a toy store two days before Christmas, haven't been able to find another, forced to move away from the only place around here likely to have job opportunities, sudden extra complications in my lack-of-a love life... I may not be starving yet, but at best I'm a burden on others. And if you haven't experienced that, you have no godsdamn clue how depressing that is.

I'm usually pretty good at hiding it, but overall I feel like shit. And my ability to write is influenced quite strongly by my overall mood. If I feel like hell, then achieving a consistent quality and quantity is a major mental chore, and any progress in improving my writing quality slows to just about nil. I seriously do not feel like I've gotten any better in my writing over the past year.

I started this because I wanted to write. I wanted to make a living writing. I'm not so sure that's an achievable or even a desirable goal anymore. I just don't have the mental energy these days.

So, to keep myself from completely losing it and quitting outright, I am taking a break. Its absolute minimum will be a week. More likely, it will be Rather Longer. And if I never reappear, then you know why.

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